The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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