Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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