Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
