I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize