I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
