In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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