If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
