His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
