My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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