Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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