I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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