need another drink. this is the easiest way
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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