Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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