was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
