Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!

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  (248): Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy! http://tfl.nu/x7i6
  Replies (4) Good night (2043) Bad night (1153)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog

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  (423): NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog http://tfl.nu/kzjg
  Replies (54) Good night (2983) Bad night (636)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.

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  (614): if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle? (1-614): i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you. http://tfl.nu/6cnp
  Replies (34) Good night (561) Bad night (3857)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.

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  (409): It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself. http://tfl.nu/yf3o
  Replies (34) Good night (4156) Bad night (800)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon

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  (910): So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon http://tfl.nu/hgw1
  Replies (17) Good night (4087) Bad night (1116)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.

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  (305): I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry. http://tfl.nu/el5m
  Replies (65) Good night (1013) Bad night (4562)
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  (805): View more from California

  You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.

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  (805): You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed. http://tfl.nu/chu6
  Replies (7) Good night (1726) Bad night (3539)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.

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  (540): Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day. http://tfl.nu/y889
  Replies (7) Good night (792) Bad night (1685)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.

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  (250): we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation. http://tfl.nu/ezo2
  Replies (5) Good night (1181) Bad night (438)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.

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  (260): The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night. http://tfl.nu/9ser
  Replies (4) Good night (1540) Bad night (519)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  110% paid for our cab with a lap dance

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  (905): 110% paid for our cab with a lap dance http://tfl.nu/ywar
  Replies (8) Good night (1493) Bad night (540)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????

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  (708): I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY???? http://tfl.nu/05jz
  Replies (7) Good night (1377) Bad night (353)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.

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  (+64): If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help. http://tfl.nu/n5gu
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (250)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.

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  (214): Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon. http://tfl.nu/qoak
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (277)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me

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  (251): Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me http://tfl.nu/bz24
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (252)

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