Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
