don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay