you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard