Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.