you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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