Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
