i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
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I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
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What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.