Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.

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(530): View more from California

he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.

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(619): View more from California

he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(812): View more from Indiana

This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.

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(253): View more from Washington

At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard

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