hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
