I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
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Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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