And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
