I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Randomize
