life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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