I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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