Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
