so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
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Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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