just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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