You can't special order awesome
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
