Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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