My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
