I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
