Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
