i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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