Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
