I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
