I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
