...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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