Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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