Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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