i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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