i was born a porn star she said
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
