I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
