I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize