Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
