I don't think brook has ever known best
my being single is dangerous.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
