I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
