There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
