i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
