Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
