I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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