Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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