better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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