You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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