a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
