I'm eating all of the evidence.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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