I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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