brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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