Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
