So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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