They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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