Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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