Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
