i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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