Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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