Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You made out with two different species that night
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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